My Two Year Old Is My Friend

I have been warned about the famous “terrible two’s”. I have been told that my sweet baby will suddenly need spankings to be well-behaved. I have heard stories of two year olds that are constantly tantruming and hitting and acting out. But I can’t picture any of that happening because right now my two year old is one of my best friends.

We flow together and enjoy life together. I don’t feel like I’m always striving against him. We are on the same team. 

He’s happy to do housework with me and sometimes cleans up all his toys without me asking. He helps me care for the baby. He picks flowers for me. He sings songs with me. We laugh together. What more could I ask for in a friend?

I talk about what we are doing next so he is not caught off guard and he flows easily into the next activity. In general, he accepts my judgment when I say it’s time to do something else even if he doesn’t understand why. And though neither of us like to leave the park, we think of fun things we can do together once we get home.

Sometimes he is having a rough day. Sometimes he gets frustrated when I can’t understand what he is saying. We both work through it the best that we can. Sometimes he really wants to play with a toy that the baby is using but he has to wait so we find something else to do while he waits. We get through all the struggles of life together.

Sometimes he gets really out of sorts and hits his baby brother for no apparent reason or starts to do things he knows are not allowed. I see this as a cry for help and for connection. So I listen a little harder and try to find out what he needs. Sometimes he is just hungry. Sometimes he needs a cuddle. Sometimes a little rough housing can turn a sad day into a happy one. Sometimes he probably feels a little bored and we need to get out of the house and run around.

There is a reason for everything he does even if I can’t see it right away. He is never trying to give me a hard time. He is having a hard time. And since he is my friend I will be right there to help him through it. I’ll be his greatest encourager.

My two year old is my friend. He is not my little enemy. I don’t spend my days trying to change him. I spend my time enjoying who he is and who he is becoming. And when he has a bad day I’ll be right there to help him because I want to be a good friend to him like he is to me.

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Two More Pumpkins

We are expecting twins! YAY! We are super excited and super surprised and super nervous!

We need a bigger place so we are buying our first home. Yay! Praise God that the timing worked out well. We are saving our money for a minivan which is also a must if we ever want to go anywhere in one vehicle. We are also trying to make plans to hire help for me late in pregnancy and after the twins arrive. We have family nearby but it’s not going to be enough. Trust me.

My mind cannot wrap around how crazy this is going to be. If they come a couple weeks early (most twins do), I’ll have a 2.5 year old, a 16 mo, and two newborns!

Handling two newborns by myself sounds tough considering that the average newborn needs 9 hours of hand on care per day. Throw in two toddlers to the mix and my head is spinning. Let me just say that I’m praying the twins are pretty easy going babies. And also praying that the toddlers start learning to get along better really soon.

I have faith that it will work out though. If I can manage to survive the first year…things should get a little easier…I think. I mean if I have quite a bit of help I should be able to get a minimal amount of sleep and hopefully eat from time to time.

So let’s assume I make it through the first year. I should. I’m strong. Then ill have four toddlers. I’ll have a 3.5 yo, a 2.5 year old, and two one year olds. The house is not going to stay clean, folks. You know what I’ll be doing all day? Keeping them from killing each other! Everyone knows toddlers are all GREAT at sharing and don’t care AT ALL if a one year old (or two) knocks over their block tower. Yikes! I’m seriously going to spend all day putting out fires.

But it’s going to be great after that. I can homeschool them together. They might have similar interests. They will all be teens at the same time. And hopefully all my time spent doing conflict resolution and problem solving will pay off and they will become good friends. That’s my hope.

I picture them sitting around playing card games together. I picture them playing tag in our big backyard. I picture having lots of grandkids one day and having all my children over for thanksgiving and Christmas. And then I’ll think back to these years and my worries and fears and sleep deprivation. And it will all be worth it. And I’ll smile and laugh and tell them crazy stories of their toddlerhood days. I’m counting on having some crazy stories that may not seem funny immediately, but one day they will be golden.

In the meantime, send me a lot of prayers and encouragement. Being a mom to four under three will not be easy. I’m going to need God to give me some extra grace, strength, and patience. I know that He will. And any help with kids, or meals, or housework will be priceless.